We’ve all had the familiar chat with friends; whether it be by Whatsapp or face to face, that goes a little something like this… ‘Hang on, he texted you first thing this morning and again at lunch without a reply? Must be in to you!’ Or ‘We’ve seen each other 4 times this week! That must mean she’s keen, right?’
Well I’m sorry, but I’m here to pee all over that parade and give you 10 things or signs of things in dating that actually mean NOTHING. All hearts and roses aren’t I?
1. They text you a lot. I’ve dated guys where the messages are literally going back and forth every 5 minutes. The bantz is top and my best gags have been used. It has previously led me to think that they must like me a lot to invest that much time in me. Appaz not. It can just mean they enjoy your conversation AND THAT’S IT.
2. They get you a key cut. Yep, this happened. Was told by a guy on a Saturday he had me a key cut to his house and he ghosted on the Sunday. And then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, we chilled on Sunday. That’s a Craig David reference to soften the blow that THIS MEANS NOTHING. Until you’ve used said key. Probs to let yourself into their gaff for a little snoop. Nooo. Don’t do that.
3. They listen to your likes/dislikes and plan a date accordingly. You might think that someone must be in to you to plan something so thoughtful. YOU’D BE WRONG. They could just be a people pleaser.
4. They compliment you. Who hasn’t had smoke blown up their arse just to have the fledging relationship subsequently blown out? You’d think that because you’ve been told you’re: hilarious, attractive, kind, good to be around, spontaneous and hella sexy that the person telling you these things might like you. Well I can appreciate a fine gin and tonic: exquisite gin, right amount of ice and a slice of cucumber – DOESN’T MEAN I WANT TO DATE IT.
5. They tell their friends and family about you. You could be gullible enough to boast to your friends about how things are getting serious because they’ve told their Mum about you. BUT NOPE. I can almost be sure they haven’t told their Mum you’re the person they’re going to marry. More like, ‘I met this girl that met Johnny Depp once.’
6. They want to see you a lot. Now obviously this could mean they’re completely in love with you after a few vodkas and a Nandos out OR it could mean they want to hurry along the 5 date rule to get you in to bed OR you’ve already done the deed and they want some more of your sweet sweet action. THIS DOES NAAAY MEAN they actually like you.
7. They ask you about yourself. You could misguidedly believe that someone is interested in you because they want to know everything about you. Maybe they do. OR MAYBE THEY DON’T and they are so bored with your chat that they’d rather resort to the small talk. ‘Soooo, what’s your starsign.’ How about it’s Virgo with a go fuck yourself Leo rising.
8. They compare you to their exes. ‘You’re so much more chilled out.’, ‘The sex is so much better!’ or, ‘I’ve never been with any one as funny as you.’ STILL MEANS NOTHING. If my ex was OJ Simpson, you’re obvs going to come out favourably.
9. The chemistry is electric. OR SO YOU THINK. Ever been with someone who you feel you connect with on so many levels? The conversation flows freely, you don’t stop laughing and the sex. WOAH. You’d think you would’ve booked yourself a one way ticket to Girlfriendsville. NAH LOVE, whilst you’re gazing into his eyes with love and lust he could just not be feeling the same, AT ALL.
10. They say they want to see you again. Isn’t it nice in the early stages of a relationship, when the person make all the plans and just can’t wait to take you out? Except they can, because after date 1 and before date 2, they ghost. But you said we were going to see Deadpool?
I do realise this list seems HUGELY negative and it absolutely has nothing at all with me being hugely unsuccessful at dating at the moment. Sunglasses emoji.
Don’t get me wrong, OF COURSE these signs SHOULD/could mean someone is in to you, but the point I’m making is that they easily could not.
When you’re dating the only things you can go on, to determine if someone likes you, is their actions and the way they make you feel. If you’re suspicious that they aren’t into it, they probably aren’t BUT if they display the signs written above and things continue to go swimmingly, you might have a success on your hands. However, it they do these things and you eventually discover they are not into you, well you’re just shit out of luck.
Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.