‘Mate your ex was CRAY.’
‘Do you remember my ex Jess?’ ‘Oh the crazy one?’
Women are always being referred to as ‘crazy’, either by current or ex men friends. You know what? Maybe we are. Here are 10 things that make us crazy:
1. We go mad if you stay out. ‘Bruv, I got in at 2am and she flipped her shit! Said I was an arsehole for not letting her know I’d be late and she was worried about me. Chill out MUM.’
2. We flip if you speak to another girl. ‘Just because her ex cheated on her doesn’t mean she needs to get all aggy when Jen’s texting me about her man troubles and how sexy Game of Thrones is.’
3. We give you agg if you don’t return our texts. ‘FFS. I saw her yesterday and messaged her earlier tonight. We’ve been together ages! She shouldn’t be so insecure.’
4. We go crazy about your mates. ‘I know she hates Eggy because he cheats on his girlfriend every time we go out and he uses me as the cover story. Doesn’t give her the right to slag him off though.’
5. We obsessively stalk your social media. ‘Every time Lacey likes my Insta posts, she goes mental asking why this girl seems to follow and like everything I do. It’s not like I’ve shagged her!’
6. We scream during an argument. ‘Ugh I just can’t even look at her during a row. I just ignore her and watch TV or text on my phone. It’s easier than listening to her nag me but then she properly goes for it!’
7. We lose it when you lie. ‘I knew she’d go mad if I said I was still at the pub, so I said I went to Eggy’s for dinner. She saw on Facebook that I was at the pub and went schiz at me. I didn’t do anything wrong!’
8. We’re too needy. ‘I told her she looked fit on the weekend and she’s STILL constantly on at me about being nicer to her. Jesus! Why does she need my reassurance? She should be happier in her self.’
9. We do a 2007 Britney when you go quiet. ‘Ah mate I could not be bothered with her this weekend. I just wanted some space and alone time but she couldn’t understand it! Threw a proper bitch fit because I didn’t speak to her for a couple of days. Jeeez. Doing my head in!’
10. We go batshit if you make decisions without us. ‘God, how was I supposed to know we were going to Rosie’s BBQ this weekend? She said it’s been in my diary for ages but doesn’t she know the Euros are on and I would’ve organised to spend all my time with the lads. She can come to the pub too if she wants to spend time with me that badly.’
So there we go ladies. 10 things that make us the crazy girlfriend. Aren’t we awful, needy psychotic bitches?
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