Wow 2018 was a TIME wasn’t it? It felt like at the exact same time, the world was falling apart just as we were all coming together.
You’re either ending 2018, wishing these last few days would hurry tf up and disappear so you can firmly camp in front of your TV for Christmas showings of Love Actually and some form of something bubbly OR you’re looking back at a time that shaped you and made you excited for the future.
Either way, you’ll be wondering whether 2019 will be your year. And I’m telling you it will be. And here’s how I know:
New Year New You Is BULLSHIT
These diet companies even tryna put up a billboard about getting our goose-fat laden arses to the gym should KNOW it. is. not. the. time.
In 2018 (if we didn’t already know) we learned that self-acceptance, body-positivity/neutrality and diet culture is BULLSHIT. In 2019, we don’t let it affect us.
We ignore the special offers to get us into gyms that we can’t afford and we fully see the transparency of magazines that told us that Christmas should be about indulgence before peddling that January should be restriction.
NOT THIS YEAR DIET SATAN.
Meteoric Influencer Rises Crash And Burn
One minute those Love Islanders have less than 2,000 Instagram followers or at the MOST a dodgy watch collaboration where they had to buy the time-pieces themselves and the next minute they’re hitting the millions, bringing out ranges with BoohooMAN and raking in the collaborations.
And we’re at home, like, ‘lol I lost 20 followers today for posting my face.’
But here’s what we learned in 2018. The long game is where it’s at.
Meteoric rises to fame based on no talent, no substance and just going viral are INCREDIBLE. And the people who experience them deserve every second and should ride the wave.
But if we’re just grinding in whatever business we’re doing, there’s absolutely NO NEED to compare ourselves to them at all.
In 2019, hard work and effort WILL pay off in the long run.
We Stan New Idols
Like Stacey Solomon. Her down to earth approach to family life, mixed with humour, being ‘real’ and bossing her career will fill our year with total inspo.
Those Retrogrades Will NOT Get To Us
Because thanks to the expanse of knowledge on how those planets like to mess our shit up, we can plan in advance.
No trying to make waves when Mercury is playing us. We’ll use the time to rest and recuperate.
Instead of beasting ourselves when everything seems to be going wrong – we lose deals, our cards get declined, friends are being knobheads – we can just nod towards the sky (in Mercury’s direction) and whisper quietly to ourselves, ‘I see you fuckface.’
And if we do find ourselves losing our shit because our app forgot to notify us that the full moon is on its way, we can blame it on the planets and stop pressuring ourselves, making way for our true selves to flourish.
So. Much. Good. TV
New Black Mirror, Luther, Stranger Things, Love Island, Game of Thrones – it’s ALL HAPPENING.
And if we really have NOTHING else to look forward to, sitting in our pants in front of the TV can be the ONE THING.
Because SHEESH, if there’s NOTHING that makes you feel like a total boss who no one can mess with as you sashay down your local high street, it’s one of those bias cut satin skirts.
I have lumpy hips, a big butt and a gorgeous little belly paunch but the material of these bad boys literally make any hang up melt away.
Alongside the abolishment of diet culture.
There Are So Many Money Apps
And if you’re anything like me – where you can’t save for shit and suddenly it’s like, ‘Hi I’m Rent, have you met my best friend, You Have A Bloody Wedding To Pay For.’
Apps which help me put my money aside, move things around, scalp off the extra change into an ISA have helped me pay off 1 credit card already this year.
Maybe that overdraft can take a beating in 2019 too!
2018 was the year I realised my one true love for dogs.
Now I see them everywhere.
On my walks, at the local cafe, on the Tube and if I’m REALLY lucky then right next to me on the bus.
And I just predict more dogs in 2019. Hopefully my own. But if not, I’ll be hunting out petting opportunities like a teenager at the school disco.
Everyone Will Be Kind
Alright not everyone because Trump still exist.
But 2018 was a shit show for the world and it’s highly likely that there’ll be things in 2019 that will make us feel like total poop too (more algorithm changes, the Kardashians hawking diet products and Brexit) BUT we’ll find people who make us feel less alone.
There are really good people in this world.
People who like dogs, satin skirts, reality TV AND smashing the patriarchy.
People who like to be kind and who understand that not everyone in this world will find 2019 a breeze.
People who will want to help others make 2019 their year. Find those people.
So here are some ways I KNOW 2019 will be your year. Now I need you to tell me how you know it will!