If you’re single and are looking for love then I’m pretty sure at some point you will have encountered internet dating and dating apps. It’s a modern world we live in and it’s one where we want to order up 12 slices of man just as easily as 12 slices of pizza. Which is hunkier though? Dating apps have, without a doubt, made dating easier. Well, they’ve made getting a date easier. Getting said date to stick around once you’ve drunkenly cried on them and sung them the entire NSYNC Greatest Hits album is another entity altogether. So to help you (and I), here’s a quick guide to the main apps and what you can expect!
Tinder. Might as well pull out the big guns first. Tinder is the Kim Kardashian of apps, and Bumble and Happn are Kourtney and Khloe. The basic premise of Tinder is, ‘Hot or not’. You have a profile of up to 5 pictures and then some information about yourself, should you wish. You can then decide which gender, age range and location you’d like your matches to be from. Once that’s all sorted you get presented with a card deck of possible matches. And a whole lot of Jokers.
If you like the look of your potential suitor (and you’ve bothered to read the bio and haven’t found something hugely offensive – unlikely) then you swipe his square picture to the right. However (which is more likely), if you think he looks like Gollum’s scrotum and he has included his Uber rating, you swipe that mofo left and out of your life.
If you have popped the little cherubs face to the right, and he’s done the same to you, you will match. And here comes the fun part! That little sexpot will message you straight away with a witty opening message and obvious keenness.
NO ONE TALKS ON TINDER ANY MORE. Now of course it isn’t the man’s job to always message first, I get that, but sometimes, SOMETIMES it would be nice if they did. And not something cliche like ‘Beautiful smile’. Thanks, my dentist can tell me that.
You could obviously message first but don’t be fooled into thinking that just because you matched, he would have the common decency to reply to your well-thought out opener. NOPE.
In the hopeful eventuality that you do match someone: A) normal, B) chatty and C) attractive (the Holy Tinder Trifecta) you can begin chatting away to your heart’s content! You go girl. Get that boy over to Whatsapp sharpish.
Bumble. This little beaut of an app is very similar in premise to Tinder. However there are two main differences. 1, WHY ARE THE GUYS ON BUMBLE INFINITELY HOTTER THAN THOSE ON TINDER? If Bumble is David Beckham then Tinder is Wayne Rooney. 2, On Bumble, the girls must message the guys first.
In its inception it was touted as a way for girls to avoid the creepy stalker messages on Tinder, HOWEVER Bumble has made guys lazy. The effect Bumble has had on Tinder is definitely obvious – it’s why guys don’t message first on Tinder any more when they could just go on Bumble and let the women do the hard work.
So once you’ve sent your zinger of an opener – which you must do within 24 hours of matching – you then have up to 24 hours to wait for a reply back.
The perils of Bumble are however – forgetting to message the guy within 24 hours thus losing him to the dating ethers forever OR sat checking your app like a crazy person… ‘HE HAS 1 HOUR TO REPLY. WHERE IS HE?’
Happn. This app looks slightly different to the 2 above as your are presented with a grid of possible matches. The people who pop up are people you have ‘crossed paths’ with whilst having the app activated. Handy for meeting people who live close. Also super handy for a midnight Friday speculative, ‘Hey I see you’re 1km away – what’s going down?’ Creepy you say?
I personally haven’t had any success with Happn. I HAVE however sat opposite someone on a train who I had previously matched with and who then proceeded to message me innappropriate chat up lines for the entire journey. I know who’s winning here!
POF/Match and all other dating sites turned apps. WHO is using these? Come on, show yourselves? I personally have only used the top 3 apps so feel like they are the only ones I can comment on. I DO know that I know NO ONE who has had success with POF/Match/Ok Cupid etc so who is populating these deserted sites, I do not know!
Anywhosits, I hope that was somewhat useful. Wish me luck. It’s a murky world out there.
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