‘Have you tried an exercise routine?’
I can barely muster up the energy to from the bed to the living room, let alone suffer with severe crack chafage from 20 minutes on the bicycle.
‘Have you tried eating healthily?’
Well when all I can see in myself is a disgusting mess – all I want to put inside my body is a disgusting mess.
‘What about mindfulness?’
The only time I can shut my mind off from it’s hideous thoughts and cloudy greyness is during a shower or sleep. Not sure either are conducive to mindfulness.
Perhaps you’re familiar with the above conversations.
Perhaps you’re fortunate enough to have people in your lives that want to help you.
Perhaps you’ve even had the above conversations in your own head.
Where you try and convince yourself to give all of the suggested avenues for coping with mental health symptoms a try.
Where you KNOW there a million different things you can do to help yourself. But you just feel helpless.
So how do you get help when you feel like you can’t be helped?
Because it’s all well and good telling you to ‘reach out’ and ‘speak to someone’ but your mentally unhealthy brain is telling you that no one wants to hear about it and that nothing will help.
But you have to.
Of course you’re allowed your pity party.
Of course you need your own time to wallow in how shit everything is.
Of course you may even take comfort in feeling helpless because it’s so much more familiar and easier to feel like that than to try and make changes.
But you need help and you need to help yourself to get help.
If you’re lucky, you may have someone really close to you who can take some of the emotional burden from you. For example – I’ve told my boyfriend that the minute I tell him I’m not OK, that’s the minute I’m really not OK.
Whilst I’m wallowing and having a shit time and in the pit of a depressive period – I will happily tell everyone I am fine. However him and a close friend know that when I actually admit I’m not ok – with just those simple words – then they know some different strategies to help me out of the hole I’m in.
And if you don’t have someone like that – then save these important details into your phone immediately.
There are people out there who you can say, ‘I’m not OK’ to and they will help.
You may feel helpless but you’re never too far from being helped.
I’ve spoken before about how my mental health problems manifest in self-neglect.
How basic self care, eating healthily and exercise routines are so out of reach and unmanageable.
And as much as I like to deflect making those changes and deny that they’ll make me feel better – they do.
I know that having a fresh and healthy meal, a long shower and a 20 minute walk manage to give me more energy, wake me up and give me a boost – I just don’t do them when I’m feeling that low.
So I just have to. I have to talk myself in to having the shower – once I’ve done that, the other tasks are more easily persuadable.
It seems ridiculous doesn’t it. How can you think positively when your entire, current thought process is negative?
But you must.
You must find one thing to focus on that is good.
Write a list of achievements you’ve made that week or day – from texting back a friend, showering or eating a proper meal up to ‘larger’ achievements.
Write down or say aloud one thing you like about yourself – even if it’s, ‘I’m still here.’
Go to bed at night, close your eyes and imagine a positive life scenario happening – a good response to something you do at work, a nice message from a friend, a sexy thought about your crush – this is a happy place for you.
One thing that helped me during a recent tough spell was an app called, ‘Grid Diary’ – in it I wrote 5 question prompts that I had to fill out each night before bed. The questions were things like, ‘How Was I A Good Friend Today?’, ‘How Was I A Good Partner Today?’, ‘What did I do well at work today?’ and ‘What am I thankful for today?’ – that kinda thing.
It helped me sift through the dark clouds of ‘you’re shit and everything is awful’ to take stock of the good.
Helping yourself when you feel helpless is the hardest thing to do when your mental health is at an all time low. And perhaps you’re not quite ready to look for help or to help yourself. But when you are – because you need to – try some of these things.
You are not and never will be beyond help.
We’ve got this.
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