I Miss My Mum

Vix xxx

  1. Siobhan Salter

    October 25th, 2017 at 17:21

    In less than 4 weeks I hit the first anniversary of my Mum’s death, and I’m dreading it. I’m mainly dreading it because I feel like anything before that milestone is acceptable for the grief to still be prevalent. Like people will accept it more because “Oh well her Mum died less than a year ago.” Afterwards though, I feel like people are just going to expect me to just get on with my life like it’s normal. Like you say, it’s not my “thing” anymore. To me it is though, and always will be. My Mum was my biggest cheer leader throughout my life, even when we had our fall outs sometimes, and it’s tough treading through this life without her now. For me, that loss is still raw, and I don’t know how long it’s going to take until it feels less so.

    Basically what I’m trying to say is, I gets you!

    Sending you love x

  2. Abby james

    October 25th, 2017 at 17:40

    🙁 I know what you’re going through. It’s been a little more than a year for me. This blog post really got me. People forget that you’re still dealing with the loss. I’ve started a new job and I can’t talk to my mum about it. I can’t tell her about the new people and they don’t get to hear about her in the way I’d always talk about her. I want them to hear me say that we are meeting up for a hot chocolate or about our movie nights on a Friday. But all they get to hear is ‘was’ and ‘did’ and ‘used to’.
    There are so many things I want to tell her. And ask her. So many things I know she’ll miss.
    Reading this has helped because I know you feel what I feel and in a way it’s comforting, like we are going through this at the same time. So thank you!

  3. Jessica

    October 25th, 2017 at 18:41

    ? I just want to give you a huge hug,your mum would of been very proud of you and all that’s happened.Im sure where ever she is,she is bursting with happiness for you.She sounds like a legend,something i’ve never had.Life’s just shit!

  4. Sabrina

    October 25th, 2017 at 19:45

    Oh wow, this was quite an emotional read for me. I lost my mum five years ago and I miss her desperately as well. I related so much to what you said, there’s such a heartbreaking void without her, whether its simple stuff like watching TV together or calling her up to chat, to important things meeting your boyfriend or seeing your achievements. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love xx

  5. Rhiannon

    October 25th, 2017 at 19:36

    Straight in the feels!!
    I lost my mother at the beginning of the year and found myself nodding along to this whole post (except the bingo & Ben part – mine didn’t play bingo and I don’t have a Ben haha) with tears in my eyes. I don’t know you, nor did I know your mum (who sounds wonderful, FYI) but there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s out there somewhere, smiling at you, so proud of you and all you’ve done and are continuing to do. You’re an inspiration. And, quite frankly, you’re also funny as #%$&

  6. Nia

    October 25th, 2017 at 21:45

    Loved this post Vix. Your Mum would have been so proud of everything you’ve achieved 🙂

    Obviously it’s not the same thing as losing your mum but I lost my best friend to cancer a couple of years back and I totally get what you mean about moving into a different stage of grief. I dont cry any more, but there are so many moments day to day where I want to call her and talk to her about stupid little everyday things.

  7. Kristen

    October 25th, 2017 at 23:12

    Thank you for this post.

    It’s been 4 months for me and I felt every word of this post with my heart and soul x

  8. The Lavender Barn

    October 25th, 2017 at 22:26

    This is probably the bravest most beautiful thing you have ever written, and yes I may be old and old fashioned but I believe your Mum IS proud of you every single day.

  9. Trona

    October 25th, 2017 at 23:50

    Oh Vix, what a heartbreaking post. Your mum sounds ace and it’s things like this that makes me realise just how important it is for me to be a good mum, the best mum possible to my son. Sending you lots of love xxxx <3

  10. Sarah

    October 26th, 2017 at 06:36

    I can’t even imagine how you are feeling, Vix. Your mum would be SO proud of everything that you’re doing.

    Sarah x

  11. Cate Bell

    October 26th, 2017 at 07:27

    You’re breaking my heart you dickhead. Power to you, Vix. I can’t imagine the pain, thinking of you x

  12. Lizi

    October 26th, 2017 at 08:15

    Sending all the love to you Vix, I understand the feeling that with every significant life stage comes a fresh wave of grief that they’re not there to see it. But you’re strong and I’m sure she would have had the confidence in the woman she raised that you’d do good and create happiness for yourself xxx

  13. Lauren

    October 26th, 2017 at 10:10

    Just sending lots of love <3 <3

  14. Jess Athorn

    October 26th, 2017 at 09:21

    God this one hit me hard! You’re so brave for posting something so personal and raw but it really humbled me and made me appreciate all the people in my life that are still around

  15. Shiana

    October 26th, 2017 at 10:57

    This post made me cry, your Mum would be so god damn proud of you, sending so many hugs, this was written so beautifully.

    Shiana xxx | shianajarvis.com

  16. Rosie

    October 26th, 2017 at 10:18

    Oh, bless you, Vix. Sending lots of virtual love in the hope it’ll comfort, somehow, in some small way. My husband lost his mum last year but I think the grief is only now hitting him. When it had just happened, his main focus was on sorting things out and looking after his dad but now I think it’s his time to grieve. If you have any tips at all about what you would want to hear at this stage in t e grieving process, I would be extremely grateful. Take care x

  17. zoe

    October 26th, 2017 at 10:43

    Sending you all the love. I miss my Dad every single bloody day. People says it gets easier with time, it doesn’t, your feelings just become more “manageable”. I just talk out loud to him, knowing he is all around me. Your mum will be so proud of you love. BIG HUGS. xoxo

  18. Kelly

    October 26th, 2017 at 12:49

    I have all these feelings around losing my Dad. Things like holidays where he wanted to know the ins and outs of everything we’d seen, done and eaten. We moved house this year and it bothers me that he doesn’t know where I live now, like, if there was anyway for him to come back, he wouldn’t know where to find me.

    Beautifully written. I’m really sorry for your loss. x

  19. Emily-May

    October 26th, 2017 at 13:01

    Oh Vix this is so beautifully written and bare. I couldn’t begin to imagine how you feel but remember she’s looking over you and always will be.
    Emily-May x

  20. Kirsteen O

    October 26th, 2017 at 14:27

    I know how this feels, you’re not alone. I lost my mum when I was 23 since then I’ve changed job, been engaged/now married and bought my first house. I’m now 28 and continue to think of what she would of thought about what I’m doing in life. It’s the silly things that mostly get me, she loved greys anatomy but will never see the end. She would have loved grandchildren and would have been great at being a Gran. She’d of told me off for not inviting certain people to my wedding and I’d of invited them in the end. It’s the things in life that she’ll miss that make miss her more. X

  21. Mel

    October 26th, 2017 at 15:11

    Oh wow. I know this isn’t recent but I am so sorry that you have had to know such pain and loss. I had a lump in my throat reading that, my eyes were filling up, that was just me as an outsider reading a little of how you feel.
    You’re such an amazing and inspiring person to be who you are despite all you go through.
    Your Mum sounds like a wonderful person.

  22. Tracey

    October 26th, 2017 at 15:25

    I lost my mum 3 months ago and I’ve written about it lots … it’s my way of getting through.
    A lot of what you said I was sat nodding my head.
    So sorry for your loss, nobody can replace your Mum xx

  23. Holly Shannon

    October 26th, 2017 at 16:07

    This was so beautiful, I’m sitting here at work bawling my eyes out. Both my parents had health scares late last year and it made me realise how little time I actually spent with them (we live about 70 miles apart). Since then I’ve been seeing them a lot more, trying to create happy moments and memories of them I can hold onto forever.
    I can’t begin to imagine how awful losing your mum was, but I’m sending you all the love and strength in the world xxx

  24. dubliner in deutschland

    October 26th, 2017 at 16:07

    Those sound like lovely dreams. I lost my mother too and never stop missing her. Thinking of you.

  25. Megan

    October 26th, 2017 at 20:39

    Beautiful post, Vix. I can imagine she would be so super proud of everything you’ve achieved. Lots of love. xo

  26. kerry

    October 26th, 2017 at 23:41

    Oh my! This is my first visit to your blog and I have just read this, and bawled, and felt your pain. Im sorry. I cant say anything more comforting. I am lucky I still have my Mum and Its a beautiful thing, that you loved your Mum so much that you miss her so deeply, this I do understand. The love for our mum. My Mum and my husband are my person, and my husband is battling cancer at the moment, so I understand that fear. That deep, crippling fear of losing your person. This is a beautiful post, (Im sorry for the long reply) and I wish you strength and peace. Oh and maybe your Mum sent your “keeper”. Just a thought xxx

  27. Emma

    October 27th, 2017 at 09:08

    Beautifully written! I’ve never experienced such a great loss (apart from grandparents which was bad enough) but I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I do know that your mum is extremely proud of you and is watching over you telling everyone – hey, that’s my daughter…isn’t she wonderful!!!
    Em x
    http://happywiseowl.com

  28. Ellis Woolley

    October 30th, 2017 at 17:40

    You write so, so beautifully. This post made me cry and it sounds as though your Mum was such a character. It’s nice when we have those funny little things our loved ones used to say to hang onto and play in our minds when we know they would have said them over certain moments. I’m sure she’s extremely proud of you right now. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love <3 x x
    Ellis // http://www.elliswoolley.co.uk

  29. Jess

    October 31st, 2017 at 17:27

    This post made me tear up. Sending you all the love in the world vix xxx

  30. Anon

    December 6th, 2017 at 05:46

    I used to know you at school so it’s been a very long time since we have spoken. I wish I could hug you and tell you that you are strong and beautiful and that not matter where life takes you or throws at you, your mother is watching over you and she is very much with you and will always be (with you and Charlotte). So just know that your mother is proud and she can see what you have achieved but most of all that she is with you, every day.

  31. Lindsey Elyse

    December 18th, 2017 at 17:24

    I legitimately started crying while reading this because it’s all so true. Everyday you live with that hole in your life and you so badly want to just call her up and tell her everything but you can’t.
    This explains the grief so well, I’m so sorry that you are also going through it. I’m not sure if it will get better or whether we unfortunately will just have to get used to it.