As you are all well aware, Vix Meldrew is single. Like not even, ‘going on a few dates, seeing what happens’ single but out and out, ‘can’t get anyone to reply to my Tinder messages’ single.
So my Valentines night is most likely going to be in the company of me, myself and I. Luckily, I’m OK with that and luckily I have a whole host of things I’m going to do to make the evening just as special.
I’ve met a few guys recently who I’ve thought could’ve had Valentines week potential – Jarred (ghosted), Teacher Hot and Cool (ghosted) and the hot rugby guy that came to school every week to teach my class (currently Facebook stalking), but none of them have come to fruition.
Therefore I’ve decided that the Ultimate Valentines Date Night In is going to represent my current situation – lonely but loving it.
For a successful date night in, you need the following ingredients:
The right ambience. Lights off, candles flickering, heating cranked up to full and a comfy sofa where you can cocoon yourself in for the night.
Alcohol. Because it ain’t a school night for me – V Day is going to involve rum cocktails and getting so buzzed that I get the confidence to text said ghosty arseholes and ask them if they have died and if not, why they are so rude. Then immediately regret it and block them all.
A good boxset. TV I’m currently loving includes; The Accused, Apple Tree Yard, The Affair and Moorside. Although I get heavily depressed looking at the actress who plays Karen Matthews because the character looks like me on a regular night in – trackies, spots and a greasy top knot.
A massive takeaway. If you haven’t ordered enough Dominos, including all the chicken sides, to feed two people and proceed to inhale it all yourself, are you even single?
A little cry. You’re drunk, you’re full, your favourite has just been eliminated from Ru Paul’a Drag Race. Now’s the time for a little weep over how you hate being single or how grateful you are to have the evening you’ve had as opposed to being with a stinky boy who thought an appropriate way to celebrate this terribly tacky and made up day is a bar of Dairy Milk and a Dutch oven.
A hot bath. It’s nearly bed time so what better way to unwind than to run a tub full of scalding water with a Lush Bubble bar filling the room with a gorgeous and relaxing scent. Get in, stick some Adele on and sing to your heart’s content.
So there’s my ultimate guide to V Day! Make sure you also treat yourself to some Kraken Rum so you can deliciously fill the alcohol portion of your evening. Also make sure to follow them on Twitter and Instagram @KrakenRumUK and enter their Valentines themed competitions where you could win the ultimate dates before the 14th February, using the #RUMantics hashtag.
This post is written in collaboration with Kraken Rum but all the Valentines single loneliness is mine.
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