For a long time, I thought the biggest problem in the online business world was scam coaches.
You know the type. The fake income screenshots. The wildly inflated promises. The predatory payment plans. The programs that massively overpromise and then completely underdeliver.
Those people exist. They are harmful. They have taken money from people they should not have taken money from.
But over the past few years I have realised something.
There is something far more insidious happening in the online business space. Something that is quietly keeping more women small, more women broke and more women playing safe.
And strangely enough, it is coming from the people who call themselves ethical.
That might make you uncomfortable. It might make you defensive. It might even make you want to stop reading. But it needs to be said.
Because the coaches who are constantly demonising ambition, revenue and growth are doing more damage to women in business than the scammers ever could.
Not because they are intentionally malicious. But because the narrative they are spreading is quietly convincing women that wanting more is wrong.
The industry didn’t just correct itself. It overcorrected.
A few years ago, the online business world absolutely needed a wake up call.
People were speaking up about fake testimonials. About misleading marketing. About unrealistic income promises. About courses that had abysmal completion rates and offered almost no support.
Those conversations were important. I was part of them.
At one point my messaging was entirely focused on improving course quality and addressing the low completion rates that were hurting people. The industry did need to raise standards. We did need better transparency and better delivery.
But somewhere along the way the conversation shifted.
Instead of calling out genuine harm, a new rulebook started forming. And suddenly the loudest voices in the ethical marketing movement began saying things like this:
You should not focus on revenue. You should only focus on impact.
Talking about income is manipulative.
Making a lot of money probably means you are exploiting people.
Urgency and scarcity are unethical.
Charging premium prices is greedy.
Scaling your business is capitalist.
Ambition is ego driven.
On the surface, it all sounds very noble.
But underneath it is a message that has quietly convinced thousands of women to shrink themselves.
When “ethical business” becomes control
The problem is not ethics. Ethics matter.
The problem is when ethics become a weapon.
Because what I have seen happen over the past few years is that many incredibly thoughtful, caring business owners have internalised these messages and started policing themselves.
They apologise for their pricing.
They feel guilty for wanting to make money.
They overdeliver constantly to prove they are not greedy.
They avoid talking about results.
They keep their launches quiet and soft.
They avoid urgency.
They avoid asking for the sale.
All because they do not want to be perceived as unethical.
And that is not ethics.
That is control disguised as morality.
The first pattern: demonising money
One of the clearest patterns in this new wave of ethical messaging is the demonisation of money.
You will often see statements like:
“I’m not here for the money, I’m here for impact.”
“If your goal is revenue, you should rethink your values.”
“Big income goals are capitalist brainwashing.”
Again, it sounds virtuous.
But what it quietly does is make people feel ashamed for wanting to earn well.
And here is the truth.
Revenue and impact are not opposites.
If your program helps 1,000 people, you will likely earn more money than if you help 50 people. That is not greed. That is scale.
Wanting to make a million pounds can simply mean you want to serve more people.
But when money becomes something we are not allowed to talk about, women start shrinking their goals. They start undercharging. They start pretending they do not care about revenue.
And many of them stay broke while doing it.
The second pattern: shaming urgency and scarcity
Another narrative that has spread quickly is the idea that urgency and scarcity are unethical.
People will say things like:
Urgency is manipulative.
Scarcity is pressure.
Launching is unethical.
Everything should be evergreen.
Now let’s be clear. Fake urgency is dishonest. Saying there are three spots left when there are actually three hundred is lying.
But real urgency is simply reality.
Cohorts start on a specific date.
Masterminds have limited seats.
Bonuses expire.
And people do need a reason to make a decision now instead of someday.
Yet so many coaches have become terrified of using any urgency at all. Their carts stay open forever. Their launches have no clear timeline. Their messaging becomes vague and apologetic.
And then they wonder why their launches do not convert.
The third pattern: virtue signalling through overgiving
Another common pattern is what I call virtue signalling through generosity.
You will hear things like:
“I give away 90 percent of my work for free.”
“My clients can message me anytime.”
“I review every single thing they send.”
On the surface, it looks generous.
But the subtle message underneath it is that boundaries are selfish.
So many coaches internalise this and begin to believe that charging for expertise alone is unethical. That if someone pays them, they must also receive unlimited access, unlimited support and unlimited time.
And that belief traps people in tiny group sizes.
If you believe every client deserves hours of personal attention every week, then of course you cannot imagine running a membership with hundreds or thousands of people.
The problem is not that scaling is unethical.
The problem is that the delivery model was never designed to scale in the first place.
The fourth pattern: anti-ambition disguised as morality
Perhaps the most damaging narrative is the idea that ambition itself is suspicious.
You will hear phrases like:
“Big businesses are capitalist.”
“Hustle culture is toxic.”
“Scaling means you do not care about your clients.”
Now burnout is real. Hustle culture can absolutely be harmful.
But ambition is not the same thing as exploitation.
Wanting to build a large business does not mean you are abandoning your values. It can simply mean you want a bigger impact.
Yet when ambition becomes something women feel ashamed of, they begin capping themselves at income levels that feel “acceptable.”
They tell themselves they only want a six figure business. They tell themselves scaling would make them greedy.
And they stay small, not because they truly want to, but because they feel safer there.
Why this messaging is more dangerous than scammers
Here is the difference between scammers and this kind of messaging.
Scammers cause visible damage.
You buy a program. It does not deliver what was promised. You are angry. You learn. You move on.
But the messaging around ethical business creates invisible damage.
It slowly chips away at ambition.
It makes women doubt their goals.
It convinces them their pricing is too high.
It tells them they should stay small.
And the most dangerous part is that many people do not realise it is happening.
They think they are simply being kind. Ethical. Responsible.
When in reality they are just scared to grow.
What actually counts as unethical
Let’s bring some clarity back to this conversation.
Unethical behaviour includes:
Lying about results.
Photoshopping income screenshots.
Selling something you cannot deliver.
Faking scarcity.
Ignoring clients after payment.
Refusing refunds when you clearly failed to deliver.
Those things are unethical.
But many of the things women have been shamed for recently are not unethical at all.
Wanting to make a lot of money is not unethical.
Charging premium prices is not unethical.
Using real urgency is not unethical.
Talking about your revenue is not unethical.
Scaling your programs is not unethical.
And neither is saying no to clients who are not a good fit.
Clients are responsible for their effort
There is another important shift that needs to happen in this industry.
Coaches are responsible for delivering what they promise.
Clients are responsible for doing the work.
Those two responsibilities are not interchangeable.
You can create an incredible program, provide clear curriculum, offer support and build a strong community.
But you cannot force someone to implement.
And when someone does not implement, that does not mean the program was unethical.
Ethical business and big business are not opposites
The truth is simple.
You can run an ethical business and still build something big.
You can charge premium prices and still care deeply about your clients.
You can talk about revenue and still lead with integrity.
You can serve thousands of people without abandoning connection or community.
None of those things are in conflict.
The real danger in this industry
For a long time I thought the biggest scourge of the online business world was scam coaches.
Now I see it differently.
Scammers do visible damage. You get burned, you learn and you move on.
But the narrative that ambition is greedy and success is unethical does something far more subtle.
It convinces women to shrink themselves.
It tells them that playing small is noble. That wanting more is suspicious. That success is something to apologise for.
And that message has kept far more women broke than any scam coach ever could.
So if there is one thing I want you to take away from this conversation, it is this.
Be ethical. Absolutely.
But do not confuse ethical with small.
You are allowed to want a big business.
You are allowed to charge well.
You are allowed to scale your impact.
And you do not need to apologise for any of it.
